BEFORE 30 DIARIES

Many find it hard to be a woman in South Africa. With the rise of violent crimes against women and children in the country, young ladies in varsity want to take charge of their safety and security in their daily lives while trying to get to know their way around campuses, to eliminate anxiety. Here are five tips on how to safely navigate, whether you're commuting or living in campus residence. Stay Sharp And Aware While Commuting When you're walking in public with headphones on, do not stay absorbed in your phone. Keep your hands and attention free, especially at night. Always verify your driver's face, license plate, and car type shown in the app. Sit behind the driver and share your live location with a trusted friend. Choose well-lit, populated routes, and walk facing traffic where there are no sidewalks.         2. Secure Your On-Campus Residence Lock up every time, even if you're just stepping down the hall for a minute. Never allow strangers to tailgate into se...

Self-awareness goes far beyond knowing what you're good or bad at. It is also knowing more than just your weaknesses and strengths. It is about trusting your instincts and knowing when to act and take risks.  The reason why I think taking control of your safety as a woman goes hand in hand with self-awareness is that you may be required to be a little paranoid but also daring.  For instance, I once went to a party with friends, but I felt like the night was heading toward a dangerous encounter. My gut told me to distance myself; even though I had had enough to drink, I was on high alert. Even though I had to wait for our designated driver to be ready to leave, I just couldn't stay, so I went home on foot alone. I was paranoid enough to listen to my gut but daring enough to get home at dawn. I arrived home safely, but it turns out nothing bad had happened. What if I had stayed and my being there would have been a catalyst for a catastrophic night? Could it be that t...

Mood board by Pinterest Shuffles Unemployed, business is yet to pick up matter of fact it's yet to launch and, currently freeloading off of mom. The exit from my twenties is certain but not seamless, it's chaotic, a mess. Nothing seems to be working according to plan, my plan that is.  So imperfect. I've self-diagnosed with PDA and I'm checking all the symptom boxes, laughing. Funny thing is, PDA is supposed to make you allergic to duty and obligation, yet here I am, wanting to care so much about my purpose and my life. I just want my body to comply with my desires for the future. So I'm like okay Happy what's working right now? Well what's working is that we have God on our side, and I'm hoping His plans finally align with mine. The ambitious Capricorn personality they always talk about should finally be revealed. However I'm keeping faith, because I have made my decision that I must thrive in my thirties, the business, and academics ali...

It's that time of year when seeds scatter, ready for new homes. It's a season of acceptance, because what follows is a new beginning. August feels like a season of relief, proof of Spring.. A blackberry tree spotting new leaves There are blackberry trees on the third house from mine, already spotting new leaves. By month's end, all of it will be green. In the south, August is windy, and dusty too; it turns the sky a soft, thick orange, the kind you watch from behind a window rather than step into. The afternoons warm up, but nobody dares stay outside too long, especially in the Kasi. You'd end up coated in dust like the ground itself. I remember when my stockings would be almost a brown shade after school. A woman's month, it's a cozy month in its own way.  My mother was born in August, and she's always believed her birth month carries good news with it. I've seen it happen enough times to believe it. That is why it's always a pleasure to enjoy th...

I met Lucia, my primary school best friend and she reminded me of who I used to be, a glimpse of my past self. As I was struggling to comprehend the horrible prices of chicken in the meat isle, someone calls me by name and who do you I see? My very bestie from 6th-7th grade. Ci ( my nickname for her). Grocery shopping with her family. Now a mother of two beautiful girls, my girl was as bubbly as I remembered her and I was thrilled to meet her, our hug had a shimmy, if you know you know. She tells me how she'd see my mom in public but never gets to see me. Her first compliment to me is how I lost weight and don't agree with her lol. She then continues to ask me. " do you still sing" No but I still love music. "Do you still love rastafarians? " Girl I haven't met one in a long time. "Are you still as crazy as I remember?" OH baby I'm as boring as they get. Of course our conversation end with arrangements to meet for drinks. For th...

Nothing is as frustrating as being at the age where you can do whatever you want, but the things you thought you'd do when you're grown are all tasteless. I'm sitting with my mother, listening to Sade on YouTube. She's on her phone, I'm obviously on mine, but the mood is warm in this winter because of the beautiful melodies playing in the background. She starts to reminisce about the times she'd go to jazz festivals, and how back then the load of life was light. As the song ends, I stop scrolling. A sense of sadness hits me. I think about how lucky she is to have existed in a time where art was appreciated by autonomous minds. How they knew of an upcoming event through posters and word of mouth. And all they had to think about was what they were going to wear and how groovy it'll be there. No matter how filled the location was, there was an air of excitement. People arrived with their camp chairs and cooler boxes to have a good time, not to captu...